Fake It Till You Make It

By | January 29, 2019

You know the saying “Fake it till you make it”? Well, that’s how I fell when I have important meetings and interviews amidst a headache.

We’ve had some crazy spring weather here in Saint Paul, 70 one day then 40 and rainy the next.

And THAT, my friends, is what is a called a barometric pressure DROP. It wreaks havoc on my neck and head.

When my neck gets tight it shoots up through my head causing headaches and eye problems, it also flares up my speech timing problems and slows down my cognitive processing speed. It’s so frustrating because I can technically “function” through it, but man will I crash afterward.

I had two important interviews yesterday as well as a coaching client. I put on makeup and nice clothes and went about my day like normal people do. I probably blended in quite well. And if you don’t really know me, you wouldn’t necessarily notice the slight droop on my left side, my crazy “concussion” eyes, and the timing in my voice. But I notice it. and I know it’s still there. Heck, I feel it and live it, right?!

That’s the frustrating part of having an invisible injury. No one knows that you’re actually struggling just to get through the hour long conversation that you’re required to do. No one knows that you’re head is throbbing and you want to cry. No one knows that you’re going to go home and crawl into bed in a dark room and sleep for 3 hours before getting up for an hour and then going back to bed for the night. No one knows because on the outside we seem fine.

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The photo in this post is one that I took yesterday during my headachy day. On the left, it shows how well I am at smiling and faking it. On the right is me feeling like my head is going to explode – yet I look relatively normal. Only someone who knows would even notice the face droop or the eyes.

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